Over the past year, I have been feeling out of place. Not with my friends, they are always here for me. I have felt out of place in terms of geography. All I really want is to move to Tennessee. It has beautiful mountains, sightseeing, and is home to the University of Tennessee, which is where I ultimately want to be. But today…today made me grateful for where I am. As I leisurely strolled to Willet Science Center (the one building I spend the most time in), I was noticing how beautiful the campus was. In all honesty, that’s one of the reasons I came to Mercer. I love how small and quiet the campus is, and it is absolutely beautiful. But then I went to RUF tonight. The seniors gave their speeches and told what RUF had meant to them…and then I realized how much it has meant to me. Having a body of believers who will go through stressful and difficult situations with me and will continue to support my walk with Christ means more than anything else in the world. I honestly cannot say with certainty that I would still be a Christian today if it weren’t for a few people who poured into me, invited me to events, and took the time to notice me. I hope I can be just as encouraging to the younger students in the next year as we make some difficult transitions. I realize today that God put me here for a reason: I was meant to become a part of RUF so I could grow closer to him and these wonderful friends here and to, in turn, encourage others. I am so very thankful for that.
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1. i love this song
2. john mayer is an amazing guitarist
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"Love is a shelter in a raging storm. Love is peace in the middle of a war, and if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door. No, love is not a fight, but it’s something worth fighting for."Warren Barfield
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A Season of Accepting Forgiveness
I just read the most recent link to an SCL post, and this article came up. I have read it before, and I loved the illustration of God not running out of welcome home banners. This time, I was more attentive to the illustration of Jon and his wife:
“I wanted to push everyone away, to expel people from the planetary system that was me, and just go float somewhere and die. I called my wife on the phone and told her as much. ‘I’m sorry you met me,’ I said through angry, frightened tears. I was desperate for her to go, to pull away from me so I could inflict pain on only one person. The person I felt deserved it the most. Me. ‘I love you!’ She yelled through the phone. ‘How can you say that? That doesn’t make any sense,’ I responded. ‘You don’t get to decide who I love. I love you. That’s my decision. You can’t take that away from me. I love you. I choose to love you.’ She repeated words like these over and over again. She attacked me with love that day. And forgiveness I didn’t deserve. Forgiveness I couldn’t earn or make sense of.”I imagine God continually yelling “I love you! I love you!” at us, even though we don’t deserve it. Even though we can’t earn it. Even though we think we don’t want it. Even though we push Him away. He is still there, still forgiving us, still loving us. It’s a beautiful picture of the Gospel.
“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” -2 Corinthians 5:21 -
A Season of Disappointment
Today was a bad day, to say the least.
You probably think I have a lot of those, since that is all I blog about. Honestly, though, I think more good things come out of bad days than good days. It started off with the ten gazillion assignments due. I have a lab report due tomorrow (yes, I am procrastinating), a paper due Friday, and I have to lead discussion on Friday. I also have a test and presentation next week. And let’s not forget about the time I need to take out of my schedule to freak out and worry about my grades and med school. With all this weighing on me right around lunch time, I decided to go back to my room for a few minutes before going to the caf. I never actually made it to the caf because I was 1) taking care of a few calls and 2) I was crying a lot. Suffice to say, I decided eating in my room was the better option. So I stress-ate and had a pack of lunch meat, a cheese stick, 4 Cuties, and a lot of Easter candy. That kind of stress continued the rest of the day. I then went to RUF (which always makes me feel better), and I found out my campus pastor will not be with us next year. I lost it again. I can’t really describe how I felt, but it was awfully similar to how I felt during 8th grade when my youth minister left the church. The only difference is that now I know 1) my world will not fall apart and 2) there are some things that are much bigger than a youth group or RUF. God and families come first, whether or not they are a part of RUF.
Despite my sadness and slight disappointment (not with my campus pastor, just with life in general), I am holding onto every promise that God has given us. -
Bahahhahaha
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A Season of Faith
Today was a REALLY BAD DAY.
To be honest, it hasn’t been an awesome week, either. I’ve been so terribly busy all week trying to coordinate every aspect of my life and get everything together. I figured today would turn out to be a more awesome day, but it didn’t. To start the day, I was EXTREMELY tired due to The Hunger Games midnight premiere. I had only had four hours of sleep. After dragging through reaction dynamics, I made my way to my mailbox in hope of finding a letter telling me I had gotten a position that I’d been hoping for for, oh I don’t know, two years. Instead, they told me that I did not receive the position. I am not mad. I am not hostile towards anyone who got the position. I am just sad. I really wanted this. I immediately went to the bathroom so I could cry without everyone knowing, but my sweet friend Mollie was there. Mollie reminded me that this wasn’t what God had in mind for me right now. I know she’s right. I, myself, have been praying that I’ll be ok with whatever happens. But it’s hard to think that God could want me to do something other than this next fall. It doesn’t even make sense! So I’ve been an emotional wreck all day, and all I want to do is cry. All I can do is remind myself of what Mollie told me: this isn’t what God had in mind for me. It doesn’t really make me feel better right now, but I’m hoping it will at some point (sooner than later would be nice).I feel like every situation in my life comes back to a particular blog post by Jon Acuff called “The soft X.” It reminds the reader of when Joseph expected Manasseh to receive Israel’s blessing, but Ephraim receives the blessing instead. Joseph says, “No, my father, this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head.” His father only says, “I know, my son, I know.” As Jon Acuff puts it, that is an incredibly tender thing to say as someone’s expectations crumble. God tries to remind us that though we cannot see the big picture in all of this, though this hurts, though we don’t know how this can possibly be the right thing, he understands and is there to comfort us. More importantly, he does indeed know what will happen and is helping everything to work together for our good. And that is what I have to hold onto.
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Why You Should Not Vote
Someone just posted that they were voting for a particular SGA ticket because they love Mercer Basketball. WHAT. THE. HECK. That’s like saying, “I’m going to vote for Obama because he likes exercising, and I do too!” That quality is not enough to make him a competent president. There are a couple of other things that go with it.
Also, YOU’RE A SENIOR. This won’t even affect you.
Sorry, had to get that off my chest. -
A Season of Faithfulness
I think this week can be characterized by faithfulness. Not my faithfulness, of course…heck no techno! However, I do think that I’ve seen God’s faithfulness throughout the week. He’s been there in both the bad and good times. He has so graciously given me a restful break this week…something that I so desperately needed. I’ve gotten to go home, be with my family, and read The Hunger Games series. As if that is not reminder enough that God is always with me, spring is here! Honestly, I love every season. I love summer for its warmth; it’s ocean time! I love fall for its cool wind, beautiful colors, and smell of cinnamon and apple pies. I love winter only before Christmas so it can remind me that the most wonderful time of the year is at hand. But spring…I love spring because it reminds me of every second chance that we are given, of the renewal and rebirth given to the Earth…and to us, and it reminds me that the rest of the seasons will come soon enough. If that’s not a reflection of God’s faithfulness, I don’t know what is.
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"Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. But if you wanna leave, you can. I’ll remember you, though. I remember everyone that leaves."Lilo and Stitch
